Singing the Skyand rockin’ tha house

Today, I attended the same piano recital that I didn’t attend last year. In fact, I had that post on private for the longest time because I was so ashamed. What a difference a year makes! This year, I didn’t take any benzos, went and had a good time. I think those benzos are such a trap. This month’s Outside Magazine (offline) has a feature on a climber who was in the same haze I’ve been in for years. It was like reading my own story.

Anyway. It was FABULOUS seeing Sage play the piano. He did so well! At the end, he stood up and gave a little bow. He didn’t show any sign of nerves at all. He appeared calm, cool and collected. Later, I asked him about it. He told me, “Mom, I was terrified!” One would have never known.

You can’t really see much, but it was very nice. Here’s a fun pic of Sage wearing Greg’s old scratched-up glasses.

For Mother’s Day (I know, I’m a bit late posting this, or did I already say?) Greg bought me bunches of Copic markers–they’re alcohol based and blend well. They come in a zillion awesome colors too. I’m having a blast. Best Mother’s Day present ever! (Sage got in on the action and bought me a couple as well.)

I am taking a step to rid myself of fear of a different kind. I’ve signed up to put some artwork in a public exhibition, after which it will be sold for a charitable cause. The deal is, they give you a canvas, and you do whatever you want with it as long as you can still hang it on the wall. I have a zillion different ideas and can’t decide on a thing. I haven’t done anything creative since I picked up the blank canvas from the gallery. Ack! I’m committed, though, so I will have to follow through. I’ve got a month to get it, whatever it is, finished.

Does anyone in a hot climate have any exercise advice? I’ve been slacking, because I hate the heat! Hate it! Perhaps I should take the dogs swimming instead?

About three months ago, I wrote about changing my story. I had decided to get off Ativan. So far, I have systematically reduced the dose, slowly, until I have cut back by an entire milligram. I don’t mean that to sound sarcastic–a milligram is a huge deal for me. The really shocking thing is that I feel much better taking less. Go figure, right? So I’m continuing this slow taper–I’m not in a hurry because that’s how I screwed things up last time I attempted this. However, this is not an attempt, I am doing it.

I have decided to do a trial period of veganism. I will try it for one month. I have three reasons for doing this. I am disgusted by meat and our factory farming practices in this country. I have truculent pounds that refuse to come off, and in my story, I am not fat! Finally, I read that Type 2 diabetes can be reversed in some cases with a vegan diet. I’m flirting with prediabetes, and the main reason I have not done this before is that I thought I wouldn’t be able to get enough protein. I researched what I read, and the evidence is rock solid. So, I’m on the lookout for some nommy vegan recipes, since resorting to a diet of guacamole and chips isn’t going to cut it.

The most difficult part of this is going to be cooking for my guys, who have exactly zero interest in this whole endeavor. I’m either going to have to find vegan recipes that are so delicious that they won’t notice the missing meat and cheese, or find a few more very simple recipes to prepare for myself. Right now, I’m eating on a pot of lentil/chickpea curry that I made–topped with avocados and bananas, it’s pretty good. My other vegan meals are oatbran with blueberries and soy milk and roasted Brussels sprouts with baked sweet potato fries. All very good, but I’ll get sick of it soon enough if I don’t find something new. Thank goodness for the Internet, right?

The first thing I am looking up is a recipe for squash blossoms. I saw a few in a friend of mine’s garden, and I wanted to tear them off and stuff them in my mouth. Weird impulse, since I’ve never had them before. Hopefully I can find some to cook–I’m thinking the Mexican market.

Photo by Laskaris

Another thing I am working on is being more sociable. I have turned down just about every invitation to parties and events that I have received. I have a variety of reasons, but not feeling good about how I look is a huge one. Well, my inbox has three invites right now, and I’m pretty determined to go, since not going would make me a bit of a wimp in my story, and parties make stories interesting. One of them is being thrown by old high school classmates whom I haven’t seen in many years. I wouldn’t bother with that one, but I live in a pretty small town, and it seems pretty anti-social to have not gotten together with these folks much sooner.

I have not bought new clothes, other than my summer play clothes, and I need something to go out in. I’m thinking this tank or this peasant blouse. Since quitting my job and freelancing, buying a shirt is like buying furniture was previously. That’s okay, though.

So, hold me accountable. In one month, I should have attended some parties, bought something nice and lost a few pounds from being vegan (I hope!!). The Ativan should be down by another quarter milligram as well. Whoohoo!

AP image

This article makes me really sad.

And incredibly outraged.

BP has resisted entreaties from scientists that they be allowed to use sophisticated instruments at the ocean floor that would give a far more accurate picture of how much oil is really gushing from the well.

“The answer is no to that,” a BP spokesman, Tom Mueller, said on Saturday. “We’re not going to take any extra efforts now to calculate flow there at this point. It’s not relevant to the response effort, and it might even detract from the response effort.”

I think the fact that this is happening in the Gulf of Mexico, where we like to go to play, has made it even more personal. I know I’ll be seeing some of the effects. These greedy idiots’ response makes me want to throw something. And the government’s claim that it is 5,000 barrels a day? What’s up with that?

Iconic.

“Neutral colors for walls like taupes and grays are also reminiscent of a factory or a loft, which are both considered very iconic masculine environments.”

–Interior and set designer interior and set designer Kyle Schuneman, Dwell Magazine interview

It should be called the word of the year since I don’t do a word of the day. Just ran across this sentence while researching for an article and enjoyed the word.

Sky–I thought you’d enjoy these.

For everyone else–I’m having a blast painting! Excuse the bad quality–I’m not sure how to get the photos right.

I’ve been doing everything possible lately to avoid writing articles, which I find boring. I’ve started making pizzas from scratch (yum!) and am learning how to bake fresh bread. My family is getting spoiled! So spoiled, that no one has really noticed that I’m not really working all that much…hmm. For money, anyway. I want to find something else to do. I’m contemplating painting decorative furniture.

Sage and I had a blast yesterday making these zendoodles. The first two are mine–the last one is his. I like the really spontaneous quality his has.

We’ve been making beaded hemp bracelets as well. Good thing he’s in Boy Scouts or he’d be turning into a total hippie–I am!

This weekend, Sage and Greg went backpacking with the Scouts in the Sabine Wilderness Area. They are walking ten miles today, camping, and walking two tomorrow. I took pics, but they turned out all blurry. I am enjoying the time to myself, especially after putting up with Greg stressing out trying to get everything perfectly ready for this trip the past two days. There is a party today that I really should go to, lest I seem antisocial, but I am antisocial, so I’ll probably just stay right here with my dogs and do whatever.

I figured out how to create color palettes from photos that I like. I can think of a lot of potential uses for this! Here’s one I made from a beach photo I like.

On the reading front, I’ve just finished reading Invisible China: A Journey Through Ethnic Borderlands, which was written by two young guys who learned Chinese and then went backpacking for months all around the edges of China, learning about ethnic Chinese, who as it turns out, are not very similar to Han Chinese at all, other than shared humanity. Even better than learning about the cultures (who knew you could eat pig that has been stuffed with butter and stored in the living room for seven years?!) was learning how the people really see the Chinese government. Greg read it too, and said that the rest of the world should definitely not refer to it as The People’s Republic of China! It’s not that the information was all that surprising–just that you don’t hear about how it really is much–especially since China is Number One US trading partner.

I just watched A Wrinkle in Time with Sage. I read the book when I was a kid, and remember being very impressed with it. This time, it had a different message for me. When Meg is battling IT, IT tries to exploit every vulnerability with ITs lies. It attacks her most of all through her pride, causing her to see alternate realities. I think IT attacks me through my biggest weakness, which is fear. I then see the world through ITs eyes–an dark reality where there is danger everywhere. Of course, IT’s a lie. I want to cast IT off, see the world clearly.

Weird post, I know, but I wanted to write that down–and remember this the next time I am driving down a country road and have a darker reality than everyone else. Remember that IT’s a lie, and I don’t have to believe IT.

1. Sage and I have been riding bikes A LOT. For us, anyway. At this point, we’re riding six miles a day, including some hills! My legs and butt have gotten pretty toned from the bikes, walking and now salsa dancing! We started doing ab work this morning. I’m very inspired by the people who are able to ride 70 freakin’ miles up and down hills and so on. Someday. I’m starting to get the WHY–afterward, I feel totally high.

2. We met a woman at the arboretum who homeschools her eight and nine year-old boys. We hit it off and are going to all ride together on Thursday.

3. Today, at 73 degrees and clear blue skies, was the nicest day so far this year in my book.

4. Wile E. did another bad thing and ate part of the baseboard in our room.

5. We roasted marshmallows with friends a couple of days ago. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that!

6. Next week is Sage’s birthday week. He has decreed that we will have Mexican food every single day. I’m figuring the grocery list is going to be pretty simple.

7. I’m buying my summer wardrobe. It will consist of a couple of bathing suits, a couple of new tank tops, some Tevas and two pairs of these:

Life is simple and good.

As referenced in my previous post. And yes, my hand is artfully camouflaging the fat under my chin.

It’s fun playing around with the webcam.