I haven’t been over here as much because I’ve been scrabbling for money elsewhere on the web. And, as previously mentioned, as the agoraphobia abates, I’ve been doing more stuff. There’s a heck of a lot that has been going on, though. The easiest way to write about it is to just make it an itemized list.
1. Sage and I have been having fun making jewelry. I would post pics but I lost my camera. Time for a NEW one! He is worried because boys “aren’t designers.” I beg to differ. Actually, I’ve never thought about it before, but most jewelers seem to be men.
2. My brother is having panic attacks. I would not wish this on my worst enemy, so it is very painful to watch, listen to, etc. He had gotten engaged, and around this same time is when some very nasty white folks (won’t post the name here–don’t want the search results) began harrassing him at work and trying to get him to join up. Yep, since Obama was elected, the kooks are out and trying to organize. To be a member of this select group, you have to kill someone. Apparently. My brother is freaking out. The original freakout has led to him not wanting to drive, be around crowds or basically even leave the house. His fiance is not taking this well at all. He stands to lose a lot.
This stuff has been making me think a lot. About how the platitudes, well meant, that are being given my brother don’t work. How I am tired of helping victims. I think that the people who make people victims need to be dealt with. Evil happens when good people do nothing. But what is something? We’ve already went through all of the proper channels. I am not thinking nice thoughts.
3. Greg and Sage are going up to Texarcana tomorrow for a Thanksgiving thing. I don’t want to go. I wouldn’t want to go if it was next door. Instead, I am going over to my parents’ house for my brother’s birthday, which falls on that same day. I am making a yellow cake with pumpkin cream cheese frosting. He’s not really eating much, because he’s so stressed out, but hopefully the thought will count for something. Then we’re having Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws on Friday. My family is not up to dealing with Thanksgiving AT ALL this year. They have just been going through hell with my brother. He is so paranoid that he is checking out of windows all of the time and stuff like that. The scary thing is wondering how much of it is paranoia. Those are some seriously evil folks. I would leave town. Maybe.
4. I’ve been writing for Cash Kitties lately, but I’m not sure if I’ll keep it up or not. I’m also writing for Constant Content, Pay Per Post, and eHow. This past week, I have made 17 cents on eHow with about the same number of articles. I hope it is because of the changes they’ve been making with their site, because those articles are indexed and have 500 page views and that is just pathetic. Especially since I’ve used the Adwords tool to write almost all of them. The best money comes from PPP, right now to the tune of $50 a day. Constant Content sells one of my articles about once a week, which is okay, since I don’t have many over there. I’m putting up a writing website with clips and all that so I can apply for some more writing jobs.
5. I don’t know why I’m doing all this writing stuff when I’d like to do something more creative. My soul is literally crying out for it. Writing ads is boring, boring, boring. Well, I KNOW. Money, obviously. Still, I have discovered that I can drill holes in rock and I’m having a blast with that. I want to make jewelry out of found natural objects like rock, bone and feathers. I’m working on it when I’m not writing or teaching. Once again, no photos due to lack of camera.
That’s it, really, except for my love/hate relationship with my job. I realized this week that it is difficult for me to invest much of myself into it because I get too upset with the bullshit when I do.