Last Friday, we awoke to 3 to 4 inches of snow on the ground. I really don’t think I’ve ever seen Sage so happy, as he’s only seen snow one other time. He got a new bike the day before, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him as happy as that, either. He’s been pretty blissed out.

Wile E. was a blur, and not just in the picture.

Salsa was also having a bliss moment.

Sage build a snowman. Later on, the park across the street was full of kids and they build a fort and had a snowball fight.

He was outside ALL day. Greg and I had fun, too.

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I read an awesome book entitled A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It’s autobiographical, and is about how he and two other screenwriters write a screenplay of his life. He begins to look at his life as a story, and realizes that he’s not living a very good one. So the whole idea is to live a good story.

There was one thing in particular that was really striking. This guy was having problems with his teenage daughter–drugs, horrible boyfriend, typical stuff. Miller tries to give him advice. He starts talking about the “your life is a story” stuff. He doesn’t think he makes any sense. Later, he gets together with the guy again and asks him how his daughter is doing. It turns out that the guy decided that his family needed to live a different story. They start building an orphanage in Mexico. The daughter gets all into it, and dumps the boyfriend and drugs. He dad says, “No girl who plays the role of a hero dates a guy who uses her.”

This really hit me like a ton of bricks. What story was I living when Sky was being raised? It was a very disjointed one with a plot that essentially went nowhere. Of course, every kid would benefit by growing up in a good story. So I started to think about how I could make my life a better story now, for Sage and Greg. I know I’m headed in the right direction. I’ve quit a job that I don’t think was the best thing for me, and I’m homeschooling Sage and spending a lot of time with him. We go on little adventures.

I want to do more things that create a good story though. One of the quotes from the book that I really liked was, “…if we want a Roomba vacuum cleaner, we are living stupid stories.” So true, so true. Life is so much more than what brand of television you are going to buy next and how you are going to find the money to pay for it.

One of the things about my story is that no one in my story can be addicted to drugs. The day after I finished this book I started cutting down on the Ativan again. This time, my goal is to cut down on my dosage. I’m not going to worry about how long it takes me to quit. When I feel okay at a lower dosage, then I’ll go down a bit more. I’m not going to follow a timetable and fry my nervous system like I did before.

Of course, no one in my story is going to be agoraphobic. It is amazing how much walking and riding my bike have helped me with the agor. I used to be afraid to ride down a three mile dirt road outside of town. (I know, unbelievably irrational and nuts.) Not anymore. I realized that I can walk three miles with no problem. The distance doesn’t seem like a big deal at all. I also don’t find myself dreading trips, and I’m contemplating going camping with my guys. We just need to plan the trip.

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Today, I had lunch with a writer friend. We ate at a “ladies that lunch” kind of place because I had a gift certificate that my in-laws gave me. It was delicious, and of course the conversation was great. I don’t think writers are ever boring.

Sage is really rockin’ the Spanish. He made a 100 on his Rosetta Stone Lesson 4 exam. There is not a children’s version of Rosetta Stone. This is the same stuff the adults use. I’m really impressed. Immersion is important, so we are going to look for those opportunities. He has really pulled ahead in math.

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Oh yeah. A really strange thing has happened. Wile E. has turned into a GOOD dog.

I am so embarrassed about all of the whining I have been doing lately. All I have to do, really, is look at the KIVA on my sidebar to gain a little perspective. Still, it helped to get everything off my chest. Almost immediately after writing that post, I cleaned the kitchen, did a week’s worth of laundry, went shopping, cooked dinner and wrote a whole bunch of articles. I became Miz Productivity. I still feel better today, so perhaps there’s something to be said about the healing power of writing.

There’s also something to be said about posts that crack you up. This guy absolutely has a way with words (he’s a writer, so of course he does) and he has the cutest cats. Check out this short post: Friends in High Places. It made me laugh when I REALLY needed a laugh. I found this blog when I was doing one of my fantasy “I’ll move back to Mexico someday” searches.

We miss you! Hope you’re having a great time!

Last night, a young man who had just graduated from our local college, who had overcome the odds growing up in one of the worst neighborhoods in Houston, was shot multiple times in an attempted robbery at one of our favorite restaurants. He died.

The one who did it? One of my former students from two years ago. This is a kid who got under my skin. There is usually about one a year that does. He would always disrupt my groups in a really infuriating, mean passive-aggressive way, and although quite intelligent, talked about how he would live off the system and never get any job doing anything legal, that is. He was quite adamant about that. He had a chance to go to college for free, and he turned it down flat.

So this kid is 20 now, and he is going up on capital murder. With this kid’s mindset, I’m sure he’ll find a way to blame what he did on someone else.

Now, I live in Texas. You know what we do to capital murderers here. This was my student. I should perhaps be sad for what will most likely happen to him. But I’m not. I hope they absolutely throw the book at him. I’m so angry at him, so sad for the many people in my community who are grieving for this other young man who was killed for the money in his pocket.

I feel pretty heartless too.

We went for a quick walk this evening. Sage and Salsa raced, as usual. It was a tie.

Sage picked me a variety of wildflowers, giving me an impromptu bouquet.

Life is good.

We stopped at a hole in the wall catfish restaurant today, and lucked out because a bluegrass band was playing. I was singing along sorta under my breath, and the band ended up bringing me to everyone’s attention, saying that I was the “spitting image of Ricky Scagg’s wife”. I’m so glad they didn’t say I was the spittin’ image of Ricky Scaggs.

Anyway, an unexpected really fun time tonight! Here’s another video, this one of my twin, Sharon White-Scaggs. I really think the only resemblance is the dark eyebrows. Great song, this.

This absolutely sucks. Yesterday, I “did something” to my back while I was cleaning and moving stuff around in the living room. I decided that it might freeze up if I quit moving around, and decided to “work out the stiffness and pain” by gritting my teeth and continuing to do what I had been doing.

Stupid stupid stupid.

I have now been flat on my back in bed since Friday. The pain upon standing up more than a minute or two is comparable to childbirth. I have cried twice, and I was a stoic during childbirth!

I’ve tried Advil, X-strength Tylenol, ice packs (help temporarily), Tiger Balm, massage and whining. I am still stuck here in bed. I’m bummed out because the pain was, if anything, worse this morning when I woke up and I had hoped it would be better.

I can’t even go to a doctor because I would be unable to get in the car and sit up without screaming. Seriously. Much less sit and wait at the doctor’s office. Maybe tomorrow I can get my mom to take me to a chiropractor while I lie down in the back seat.

Greg is at a loss.

Sage and Greg are both sick. Sage has had a fever for three days. I feel awful not being able to care for him as I should. Greg is doing all the work, and he is catching it too. Actually, so am I. Coughing hurts my back even worse.

This absolutely sucks.

I’m lying here catastrophizing, afraid that I am going to miss work (likely) and be like this for weeks.

Owwwww.