Afraid
I am catastrophizing again. I’ve promised my therapist that I will make a note of these thinking errors.
The thing I am currently being confronted with is Sage not doing well in school. I think that his teachers don’t like him. I may be right. For the past two years, none of his teachers have said anything remotely positive. At the same time, he is a kind, respectful child who tries hard. I don’t know that his teachers see all of this.
When an adult talks to him, he may look away, or say “I know” (a reflex caused by being worried about being thought stupid) or simply stare blankly because he doesn’t get what they are saying, and doesn’t want to ask for clarification because of the “stupid” thing.
I really want to homeschool Sage. I am so worried about negative peer relationships (he’s been invited to one birthday party the entire four years we’ve lived here) and him not understanding academic material because of memory issues and auditory comprehension difficulties.
He is one of five in his class who doesn’t get to watch the reward movie on Friday because he got one too many numbers this six weeks. Numbers are for things like forgetting one’s agenda, talking in line and the like. His class has some holy terrors in it. I can’t believe that my child is one of five. I would think it would be the entire class, more or less, who is not getting to watch the movie. I spoke with his teacher, and she is entirely unsympathetic. I try to advocate for Sage, and the school ignores me. I’m going to have to go all BITCH on them and I’m afraid it won’t work anyway.
I am afraid that the teachers are not treating my child fairly. I know from working at my own school that some teachers really don’t like “Aspy” kids.
I am afraid to quit my job and homeschool. I’m afraid that I’ll go nuts in the house. I’m afraid of not having insurance, and of my writing job going kaput, as they often do. I’m afraid I’m not doing the right thing.
I love Sage so darn much. It hurts SOOO bad to see him try so hard, try to put a good face on things and then be so disappointed with the C’s from failed reading comprehension tests that he can’t study for at home and so on.
He hates school.
I am so worried. No surprise I am having problems with anxiety right now…there’s just too much fear.
I wish this was a little thing that I could minimize. I don’t think it is, though.
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I’m so sorry to hear this Michelle. I’d be stressed out too. How about keeping the job and getting him into a private school?
Just a thought.
Sending you strength & love,
JP/deb
JanePoet ~ JP/deb’s last blog post..First Kiss Descent
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That would make me crazy and afraid too. Is there a different school you can move him to? How about a 504 or do younger kids have them? We are our children’s strongest (and many times only) advocate, so we have to do what we can. There have been times that I’ve been a real “bitch” at school and it’s been awkward since I work in the district. But there were a couple of situations in junior high that I just could NOT tolerate.
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You know, my first thought was, “is there another school in the school district?” But of course, he’ll have to deal with a lot of new things again if you go that route. I wonder what his thoughts are about the situation.
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I can totally understand your anxiety about this situation. There is no pain worse than the pain our kids are suffering!
Is there no hope that the teacher will co-operate with you to make Sage’s school experience more enjoyable? Here, the local schools encourage such parent-teacher involvement and will give weekly assessments to parents. Senior school staff will often get involved if it’s deemed beneficial.
Giving up your job is a big decision, with uncertain consequences!
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Living where I do, private school is not an option. I am trying to get him a 504 plan but the administration is ignoring my emails. I’m about to start with the registered letters.
I will try to work with them as much as I can. Hopefully, middle school (because of band) will be better. That’s the opinion of one of my collegues, anyway, who thinks too many of our elementary teachers are nitwits.
I don’t know though. There are some wonderful middle school teachers as well as some that have no business teaching at all.
I want to be independently wealthy, move back to Austin and homeschool…:-(
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Oh Michelle I am so sorry you are dealing with all this. Tough, tough situation and you have every right to be worried. It’s called being a mom! Hang in there. How much longer until he starts middle school? I think they go in 7th grade where we live now which is strange for me.
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