We named the new dog Wile E. because he looks so dang much like a coyote. It turns out, however, that his name is even more suited to his personality. Living with Wile E. is like living with a very crafty, sneaky person. I have never encountered such a smart dog in my life, and if we don’t get him trained soon, he may go over to the dark side.

Yesterday, I told Wile E. to go outside. He refused. I didn’t feel up to dragging him through the house by his collar to the back door (food and nice words don’t work), so I went outside and said to Greg, “Wile E. will not go outside. You need to come in and make him go.”

Well, Greg was on the phone and couldn’t come back in right away. I walked back in the house, and Wile E. headed straight for the back door to go outside. He had heard me “telling Daddy” on him and decided he’d better get his butt out there. Later, Greg came in the house. Wile E. saw him and closed his eyes like he was asleep. Greg addressed Wile E. directly. One eye opened, and it was full of terror. For some reason, Wile E. will listen to Greg, but he is also afraid of him, although Greg hasn’t given him a reason. It probably has something to do with his prior home.

Today, my mom looked him in the eye and had a talk with him. This was after she found out that Wile E. was eating the back of our house, literally. (He has eaten through two boards and is now chewing away at the support beam. I put hot sauce all over it. Wile E. will probably consider that seasoning.) I swear this dog can understand people perfectly. He certainly catches the intent behind their words. She looked him directly in the eye and told him that he’d better shape up if he was going to live with people. He stood up and growled at her. Not good. He didn’t like her words at all, even though she wasn’t in a threatening stance.

He also likes to steal the cat food when he thinks we’re not looking. He’s gotten rather bold, probably because we are not strict enough with him because harsh words make him cringe in the most pitiful way. He had the nerve to bring the cat bowl TO US a few days ago. Greg had a talk with him. Now he won’t do it if we’re in the house. So, yesterday, when Sage and I were headed to the gym, Sage got the keys and went outside to start the car. Wile E. heard the keys and thought that I had left as well. He headed straight into my bedroom for the cat food. He got quite a shock when I surprised him at it.

I know that Wile E. is the kind of dog who could be trained to do almost anything. We’ve got to find a good trainer and take him. He is really a piece of work. With this kind of personality, he has got to learn to be GOOD!

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