Funk
So Sage had the spider bite, but when we took him to the doctor for yet another “spider bite”, we discovered that he has MRSA, an antibiotic-resistant form of staph. I got pretty freaked out by how serious the formerly jovial doctor got when he saw the boils. Sage is now on a pretty harsh antibiotic and some anti-bacterial cream. Actually, ALL of us have to put the cream in our nose to “decolonize” ourselves.
I have been worried sick. We canceled our Fourth of July get together, which may not have been such a terrible thing, since the mixture of relatives that were coming was a bit dicey. I really hope the doctors know what they’re doing. Alarmingly, this is not uncommon. The pharmacist told me that she had seen eleven other patients with MRSA that day.
I’ve been all weepy and stuff, with stress and my screwy hormones. Greg told me that I was a good mommy because I take such good care of my boy and I just about lost it. I suppose I really needed to hear that. I beat myself up all of the time about not having a more stable life when Sky was growing up. I honest to goodness didn’t realize how damn important that is to a kid, believe it or not. I believed that if I didn’t make the mistakes that my parents made, then I must be doing things perfectly. Not. I shouldn’t be so hard on some of the parents of my students when I was such a jacked up parent myself.
And anyway, I continue to to pay for those bad choices. Sky doesn’t call me often, and leads a lifestyle that worries me. I feel literally tied up in knots worrying about him. Where he is, what he’s doing, if he’s okay. My knuckles have something that feels like arthritis. It seems like the worry made manifest. What better place than in the hands that cared for him and now feel absolutely helpless?
If something happened to him, probably no one would know how to get a hold of me, since he got rid of his cell phone. He’s 19 now. I didn’t talk to him on his birthday, because there is no way I can reach him. The parenting thing doesn’t diminish much after 18. It’s still all about wearing your heart outside of your body.
Yesterday, out of the blue, Sage asked me what a “PO” was. I told him that it was the post office, located next to Krogers. He said, “No, it was up near Grandma’s.”
I realized that he meant the probation officer. It’s been well over a year since that has come up. I explained. He was confused about why Sky had to go there. I said, “Do you want to know what he did?”
Sage looked at me very seriously, and shook his head. He has his brother on a pedestal, and he’s not about to take him down.
I had to try to get myself out of this funk. I went to a cool site, Kiva, and made a microloan to the woman in my new sidebar widget. I think microlending is awesome, since you can help people again and again with the money you put into it. I just love Kiva. My other favorite is Heifer International, which sounds like a Miss Universe for fat girls, but is another incredible charity.
Anyway, am going to put serious effort into continuing to shake this off. Going to get some good sleep, get up and go to the gym, and then do some craftsy stuff. It’s a plan.
7/06 Cheerful Update: Sky IMed me this morning!! He’s safe, and is currently in Dallas with some friends. He promised to give his friends my number, easing one of my worries. He should be here in the next couple of weeks. This just totally made my day!
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Hey, I do hope things cool off and you can stop worrying.. Especially about your elder kid.. after all, at that age, they need a bit of revelry, preferably away from their parents.. maybe its all about making that final foray into adulthood!
The Dark Lord’s last blog post..The Stranger
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MRSA is a big deal in the UK. People here keep catching it in hospital. My grandma even had it a few years back.
And regarding everything else, Michelle, I couldn’t do half the stuff that you do, half as well. You should be proud.
Pacian’s last blog post..I HAS A ZZZZZZ
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You will pull through!
And think about it, “The pharmacist told me that she had seen eleven other patients with MRSA that day” at least means she is not clueless about it, which is a good thing.
Kelvin Kao’s last blog post..Sesame Street Characters on A Capitol Fourth
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I was wondering how the kiddo was doing. Sounds like he is being well taken care of and I can only imagine how stressful it all is. We’re sending good vibes his way for a speedy recovery! (((HUGS)))
sonnie’s last blog post..Dizzy the Cat
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As parents, most of do the best we can. We cannot look back on what might have been, second guessing ourselves. You love your boys, which is very obvious to anyone who reads your blog. As you know, I’ve had my own struggles with my kids. As moms, we are too quick to blame ourselves when our kids do things we don’t understand. All you can do now is continue to be there for your eldest. One day he will come to understand how much you loved him. big hugs to you!
ms_teacher’s last blog post..Babysitter
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It’s fairly easy to catch–we had outbreaks at the gym and with our wrestling team. Don’t think that you could have prevented it because that’s not true!I hope the meds work quickly so you don’t have to worry about BOTH your boys. As you already know, I’m a huge worrier(wish I weren’t, but it’s who I am) and want to laugh hysterically when people say, “Oh, it must be nice to have your children reared!” OH, REALLY?? Just because they’re 23 and 19, I can wash my hands AND heart of them? I don’t think so!! Michelle, we would all go back and change things we did as parents. None of us has been perfect. You are just more honest and self-critical than most.
Margaret’s last blog post..Fourth of July Fizzle
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You are an AWESOME mother and don’t ever think otherwise! You deal so wonderfully with situations I know I could never in a million years handle. So glad you heard from Sky and look forward to hearing about his upcoming visit! Hang in there and sending you big hugs!
Lee Anne’s last blog post..What a wonderful day!
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Oh yuck! I hate MRSA. I got one in my intestines that led to having part of my colon removed. They threw the whole arsenal of antibiotics at it before it went away. It is kind of scary how resistant to multiple antibiotics some of these germs are getting. Hope he feels better soon.
Ken Albin’s last blog post..An Inquisitive Anole