Spin Me Right Round Baby, Right Round
It is amazing how much Sage admires Sky. When Sky was here, they spent some time making beads. Sage hangs on to every word Sky says. I think I should quit worrying about times he doesn’t remember what he did in school. He can quote Sky verbatim.
Last week, we were doing our grocery shopping in the Krogers that is being remodeled. LOTS of florescents!
This whole past week, I have lived about five lifetimes. I have:
Contemplated just chucking everything and moving to Oregon, living off savings until I could make money selling bead bracelets on the street or something…
Looked into going to a cosmetology school, going so far as to interview two hairdressers to find out information about income, competition, etc. My mother was NOT pleased.
Talked myself out of the Ph.D. program, on the basis that it will be boring and I don’t want to be bored for the rest of my life.
Talked myself out of that same thing because I can’t afford it.
Seriously questioned that decision and went back to considering it.
Decided not to go to beauty school.
Decided not to move to Oregon, at least not right now.
Wrote 15 articles in one day in a mad attempt to prove to myself that I could make a full-time income writing.
Had crying and anxiety and did not go back to school as scheduled for the first two days. Seriously thought about quitting.
Finally went back and things are back to being fine in that way that really isn’t quite fine, but is manageable.
I put myself through a lot of shit.
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At least manageable is better than unmanageable.
If, in the middle of going through all this shit, you figure out how to live a happy and fulfilling life that isn’t a struggle, be sure to let the rest of the world know. I think most people probably have issues with that kind of thing as well.
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I too long for a change, but fear of change and loss of security hold me back. At least it’s OK, which is the best we can hope for at times. My job is better than that, but who knows if my district intends to keep offering what I teach. (huge budget cuts are down the road) That could force me into a new direction. It’s great that the brothers have a close relationship!
Margaret’s last blog post..A fretful post
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That is so awesome that he admires Sky. I think siblings are so interesting. I remember one of my sisters I did the same thing with her. I would follow her around like a puppy.
I am beginning to wonder if anyone is happy with their life. Just makes me sigh and scratch my head. I love my kiddos and think I am so very blessed being able to stay at home with them but some days I just want to run screaming out the door. I often wonder if it is me or just the way people are. I hope you find what you are searching for and wanting in life…you truly deserve it!
Lee Anne’s last blog post..Just rambling…
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I, too, have wondered if most people are truly content. I think about that on my commute to and from work, all these cars, all these people you have a chance to peer at out of the corner of your eye because you are going slow enough, and how do they all really feel about what they do? Those with or without degrees, who planned their careers (or did not), are they happy/content souls? And if so, how? I suppose many people (like me) just feel relieved these days that we HAVE jobs. But I’m not exactly sure what it would take for me to feel truly happy/content. (Well, actually? Secure retirement! Ha!)
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You know, some cultures believe in reincarnation. They believe every soul goes through lifetime after lifetime and become wiser and wiser after each one. So, living five lifetimes this past week is a great achievement!
Well, I think things will somehow work out for you. Pay attention to people and things around you. Sometimes the answer is not that far away.
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Did you come out on top with those 15 articles? Sounds tiring. Hope you are less stressed after this weekend.
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