I’m Driving in My Car
Anybody remember Nina Hagan? I would put a link, but there’s hardly anything out there for the “mother of punk, so what the funk?” Perhaps I am getting the spelling wrong. 20 years later, I still get her songs stuck in my head. Anyway.
I wrote this post a week ago in the car. I have been traveling like crazy–only to the next town, but today we went 20 miles beyond that. Even better, I’ve driven the car myself. I’m also able to just “space out” when it comes to driving now. I’m not altogether over the agor, but it has certainly gotten better.
Another aside…it seems that the more conscious I get about what I put in my mouth, the more difficult it is to eat meat. Even fish. The idea of eating something with consciousness is repugnant. It is difficult to get this idea across without coming off as “holier than thou” or whatever. Greg is not thrilled with this change. I suppose I’d better get cracking at those vegetarian cookbooks…
Anyway, am still losing weight. Am having to buy new clothes. Cheap ones, because I’m not there yet…
And here’s last week’s post:
As far as the school thing goes, it’s better and it’s not. I see that my principal is very stressed out about this job, and it is helping me to have compassion. There’s another factor at play, without which, I probably wouldn’t even be stressing about the whole thing nearly as much.
For several years, I have heard the phrase, “numbing one’s emotions with food”. I’ve never known what that meant. Certainly, I ate when I was bored, stressed, etc., but I know a lot of people who do that, and I’ve never felt “numbed”.
The thing is, when I cut out the sugar, and by that I mean ALL sugar, I started to feel different. Just to clarify, I’ve cut out ALL refined foods, and even some unrefined ones that are high on the glycemic index (link), such as potatoes. It is like Sugarbuster’s all mixed in with a low glycemic diet. Slow carbs.
In the mornings, I don’t eat. Maybe around 10 o’clock I’ll have a hard-boiled egg or a handful of walnuts. At lunch, I’ll eat butter beans with greens and sausage. Dinner is maybe a bowl of whole grain cereal or some chicken with some veggies. I don’t eat anything unless my stomach is actually growling.
So, back to the whole numbing of feelings thing. Without grabbing refined carbs all of the time as some sort of false fuel for my body, I’ve got LOADS more energy. Almost all of it is positive. I’m singing and dancing around the house. I’m Miss Happy at work. I exercise, and look forward to it. I dress more stylish (easier with less weight). I’m sweeter to Greg.
When I have those happy feelings, I really feel them! Now here’s the downside. When I have sad feelings, I really feel them. It seems that the sad times run about 1 to 20 against the happy times, but it is weird to feel them–really feel them.
I’m also feeling other things I had forgotten about. Simple pleasures, like petting the cat, seeing that crazy wild blue color in the morning before the sun comes up…those things, they are really pleasureable now, where before they didn’t even make it my radar, to tell the truth.
I was on automatic.
Oh, and fwiw, I’m still not liking my job all that much. It doesn’t feel like a fit anymore. But, the economy scares me.
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It sounds like an amazing transformation; I’m not shocked that diet can play such a huge role in emotions. It is more than sustenance for most people;it takes on its own “personality” and “power.” I would like to be a vegetarian and am, for the most part. I’ve never been much of a meat eater. (but I do love my sweets!)
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I am not totally into meat either, but I still eat it. I usually get hungry much faster if I don’t eat meat, and getting hungry too fast usually would interfere with work. I still feel like I need my protein. (Soy products can provide protein too, but I feel like just having those things every day is not enough variety, and they are processed food too.) But yeah, what you eat can actually have an impact on your mood and emotions.
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I haven’t been eating properly all week cause I’ve been stressed and nervous about some stuff that happened to today. Now it’s all over and the source of worry is gone, I actually went out and bought vegetables and ate a meal as opposed to eating snacks or nothing for the first time in ages. But I really need to work on my diet, I eat way to make cakes and breads from the bakery at work, not good. But yeah, I think it’s better to feel EVERYTHING than not, good or bad. You can only really appreciate the happy stuff when it comes after feeling down. Good luck with the diet and have fun in the new clothes!!
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Oh my I do remember that song…not sure what else she sang but I remember that one. How funny. And I also believe your diet can play a HUGE factor in your moods. There are several books out there about eating for your blood type and I know several people who have done this and swear by it. Have yet to try it for myself but it kind of sounds like you are finding the same thing out for yourself. Way to go and you are truly an inspiration for me to get off my lazy rear and get into action. Since having the boys I have not done well with eating or losing the weight from having them. I just keep thinking some day, some day… Way to go!
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Well, you are what you eat.
So… Are you going to stop being so sweet now Michelle? o_O
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Hey, glad that you’re back to blogging and that things are going so well for you. Congrats on the weight loss and feeling better about yourself!
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Hey babe … sounds like you’re on the right track … good for you! Wish the job was going better, but hang in there … i have the belief that we’re where we need to be & when it’s time to move on, the window of opportunity will open.
peace, JP/deb
JanePoet ~ JP/deb’s last blog post..Paradox & Change