Dignity
So I’m thinking about human dignity…how to give it (if it can be given), how it can be taken away.
There’s a man in our neighborhood named James who must be the only Black man in this part of the world without relatives. He mows my lawn. He said he and his daddy worked for a lot of white folks back in the day–another one of those eerie 50′s flashbacks that we get around these parts. He has that job because it is preferable to him begging for money from us, and the lawn mower blade is broken. And I’m tired. He says he is hungry. He says he needs to wash his clothes. He lives in a room somewhere down the street for $40. He is mentally challenged–just a bit.
If he is hungry, I think we should invite him for dinner. I don’t like giving away money, or loaning it, for that matter. While I was having the “invite him for dinner” thought, I then thought, “and I could wash his clothes”.
I then realized at that point I have taken away any semblance of give and take in that relationship and made him even more dependent. Not good. Lady Bountiful is not a role I want to step into.
So I started thinking about J and her six children. Trying to do everything for them is ultimately not going to help. I have a better idea–I need to find a way for her to help someone else.
It would be so empowering, that. I think it could change her way of thinking, and ultimately her life.
I’m not trying to get off the hook here. I’m still advocating for her kids, and I’m going to start the reading/tutoring thing next week. But I’m thinking about stories to tell, yes, stories that depict women as conquerors.
Got any?
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Michelle you’re either a saint or you’re going through a mid life crisis. All kidding aside, I really admire your compassion and what you’re trying to do helping people who are truly in need. You are so smart and clever I know you will come up with some way of making a difference. But, don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes you can’t help someone until they are willing to help themselves as well. I’m sorry I don’t have better advice or an easy solution. But, I do admire what you’re attempting to do.
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Those of us in helping people professions tend to go overboard at times. I know I do! I want to help TOO MUCH. Wise words, Michelle.
Margaret’s last blog post..First day of school
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I admire what you are doing, Michelle. No story came to mind at the moment, but I’ve heard that you should give even when you are poor. When you give, you can consider it practicing for when you get rich. You’ve got to be able to be able to put yourself in that mentality to pull out of poverty.
Kelvin Kao’s last blog post..Don LaFontaine: The Man that Redefined Movie Trailers
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Helen Keller
Princess Diana (not rags to riches – but very inspirational)
Anita Roddick
Marie Curie
Emily Dickinson (although she became famous after her death)
Oprah Winfrey
Yoko Ono
J K Rowling
Zhang Xin
Celine Dion
Dara Torres
Ankesh Kothari’s last blog post..How Napoleon Bonaparte Built an Empire
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Michelle,
I had a feeling of deja-vu when I read this post of yours. It reminded me about a quote I had read long time back:
“There’s only one way to get dignity, and that’s to do something for somebody else.
If blacks want dignity _as a group_ then they have to set up a charity to help poor whites. It sounds backwards, but it’s true.” – Ron Hardin
Its awesome that you stumbled onto this epiphany via your own path!
Ankesh Kothari’s last blog post..How Napoleon Bonaparte Built an Empire
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Women conquerors that I’ve come across who are not world famous – yet:
Christine O’Kelly
http://selfmadechick.com/2008/03/11/how-i-sold-millions-of-dollars-of-intangible-products-in-a-highly-competitive-market/
Naomi Dunford
http://ittybiz.com/happy-birthday-to-the-reason-ittybiz-exists/
Ankesh Kothari’s last blog post..How Napoleon Bonaparte Built an Empire
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Oh wow…you bring up a good point. I can tell you from experience I think you have something there. I helped a lady once who was living in her car with her two children. But she had to make it work. I helped her find the resources (a place to live and a job) and it was up to her to do the rest. I helped her find guidance to make it all happen but in the end she had to show up for her job, etc. And she did. She was amazing to me.
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That is a very good point. In a way though, I think it all comes back to motivation and how badly someone wants to change their situation. In some cases they just need a little help and a new opportunity, however, in other situations people are just looking for handouts and have no desire to change their situation.
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