The Incident of the Mad Woman in the Daytime
Michelle on Mar 11 2007 at 1:20 am | Filed under: The Teaching
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I am so glad it is Spring Break. I am still destressing from yesterday, and it may take a bit to complete the process. It went like this:
One of the three of us who teach the alternative high school has been in the hospital for seven working days. Since substitutes generally don’t work out very well at our school, the principal instructed one of the aides to cover that classroom.
Nothing has been done by the kids in that they have been talking, not turning in work, whatever, for all of this time. No conflicts though, and that has been good. On Friday, the Demon Aide From Hell (DAFH) decided to show the kids a movie. She did this without consulting the other teacher or me, and set us up to be the bad guys if we opposed it. We went along, but I asked her if she would show the movie earlier in the day, since I was having a guest speaker for group. She didn’t. That meant I was going to have to pull reluctant kiddos out for group while the movie was still going.
Anyway….the movie started, and my kiddos joined hers in the much larger room. I went in there and began to ask her if she would rather that I hang out with her in the movie room or if she would like to send any pranksters to my room if necessary. Before I could even get finished with what I was saying, she said, “I want whoever is responsible for these here kids in this room with them.” This was said so loudly and rudely that I asked her to step into a side room so that I could finish what I was saying without the kids listening in.
She put her hands on her hips and said, “Oh no, I’m not playin’ that. I’m not one of your little students. You can just stand right here and talk to me.”
I told her that I would not discuss anything in front of the students and left the room.
She followed me back to my room, where five students were sitting, and started screaming at me. I’m sure every word she said could be heard by the now unsupervised group in the other room. I told her again that I would not have this sort of hair-brained craziness discussion happening in the presence of my students. She continued to yell. I picked up the phone and told the person who answered in the office to send someone down to get her out of my face.
About two minutes later, the principal showed up. DAFH was still yelling and hollerin’ up a storm. ie: “You may think that just because you have some Ph.D. or whatever, you can just treat me however you like…naw, I ain’t playin’ that shit, woman.” She was so threatening that I didn’t even have time to feel flattered that she thought I had a Ph.D. The principal cleared out the room pronto, and tried to mediate. That turned out to be a joke, as DAFH kept yelling and saying rude things, in spite of my requests to be spoken to in a respectful manner. Then, she turned on her heel, saying, “I don’t have time for this. I don’t go getting the little things get to me. I just don’t have time for this.” Then she left and returned to the classroom.
The principal said that she would talk to both of us later. She talked to me for a while after DAFH left, though, and said we should get together for a drink sometime, so I don’t think I am in trouble.
I do feel really dumb though. In group, I always tell kids to walk away from conflicts, and they always laugh or question how. That group of kids got to see me walk away from a conflict, be followed, and have to request assistance. I suppose I’ll turn it into a teaching opportunity in group, because, believe me, I will have to deal with it. The kids I work with don’t get the whole walking away thing, and I’m afraid that I lost face with the students, even while modeling the behavior I advocate.
DAFH continued to be rude the remainder of the day, which included myself and another staff member asking for pockets to be turned out in order to find a stolen electronic translator. She was blatently uncooperative with that investigation. Another student, who is emotionally disturbed, screamed at me when I asked him why he was climbing the fence while at the bathroom. His words mimicked the words DAFH had said to me. It was eerie and very sad. He ended up suspended for three days, even though he didn’t follow me out the door still screaming…I have another person in mind who should be suspended! I found her behavior to be frankly abusive. I have never encountered anything this extreme in the workplace, ever.
I spoke to a couple of other teachers, who, as it turns out, have both had the same experience. They have both already told my principal that they will quit or move to another campus next year if she is not fired or moved. She already hates everyone on campus except for one person–the guy who has been in the hospital. No one wants her help in their room, which is a problem, since we are a K-12 campus with quite a few needs.
Anyway, stressful day there. What would you have done? I keep going over in my head how I could have handled the situation better, and get nowhere. One thing that she said to the principal was, “I am mean all the time, joking or serious. I was joking with her.” I can’t read minds, and I don’t like mean straight-faced joking in front of kids, or any other time, actually. I call it being passive-aggressive.
Advice?
Here is my advice:
1) Buy a good bottle of cognac and relax in the tub with a nice glass of cheer.
2) Put on a favorite DVD movie and watch it.
3) Listen to a restful CD. Norah Jones works well with me.
4) Make certain that b**ch is fired as soon as possible. Do whatever it takes. She has no business being near children and you don’t make enough money to have to put up with garbage like that. I am so sorry that you had to experience that potential Darwin Award winner’s tirade.
I’m going to go with pray, cause I can’t think of anything else! This person clearly should not be around kids, especially not the kids in that school, if the principal can’t see that and she keeps her job, something aint right. It’s bad enough have uncooperative students without someone who is supposed to be on your side joining in. Surely as you are a teacher and she is and Aide you have the greater authority, if she can’t respect that seems she is in the wrong job. Let’s hope she can muster a little introspection to realise she was out of line.
As for the destressing a long bath works for me. And escape into a good book, movie or whatever.
I would have defeated her with my kung fu superpowers.
No wait, actually, I’d have hidden in the supply closet and cried.
You did the total right thing. She obviously has issues in her life (and probably with dealing with the kids) that she takes out on her coworkers. She probably would do better by asking for help instead of turning her insecurities outward. Anyway, that’s her problem just vomitted all over you. I’m sorry. That sucks.
I probably would have shut the door in her face. You’re inspiring for holding it together.
P.S. I need your snail mail address again; I accidentally deleted your email while cleaning out my inbox. A sweet package is ready to go!
The aide’s behavior was totally unacceptable, and that principal needs to develop a backbone and show her the door.
I don’t see what you could have done differently, and it really, really, REALLY sucks that a kid got suspended when following an authority modeled behavior.
Definately don’t go have a drink with her. If you don’t like her when she’s sober, you definately won’t like her when she’s drunk.
Wow… she’s a piece of work, eh? I don’t that you could have done anything that would have netted a different outcome. I think I would have crumbled under the pressure of that…assuming I lasted 2 hours doing what you do anyhow!
I hope all is well. And thanks for wishing Pam well on her writing. I think you might be the only one of my readers who did so, and I have to say: YOU ROCK!!
Thank you for sharing the support and love on the internet.
This is eerie because I have already commented on this post–but it evidently didn’t post. I don’t think you could have handled it any differently. YOu are a voice of reason, and logic; the Demon Aide is another troubled soul to deal with. (when you already have enough on your plate)