Singing the Sky

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It has been a challenging day.

The challenges began with an almost flat tire in morning. Three of my tires didn’t even register air pressure with the gauge. I filled them up. Problem solved.

At work, a projectile landed on a kid’s desk. The kid jumped up, screaming, “It stinks so bad, it stinks!” and generally throwing what looked like a histrionic fit.

Stupidly, I went to the desk, picked up the object, which looked like a small piece of white rope stuffed with something, and lifted it to my nose. I got an instant head rush, dizziness and nausea. The thing dropped right out of my hand onto the floor, and I dropped into my seat, wondering if I was going to pass out.

I called the office, who called the police to see what the UFO was. The kiddo and I were still a bit dizzy when they got there. The officer, who of course had to be the same one who had cuffed my kid, laughed and said they were “smelling salts”. I was not amused. I had had no idea of what had been sniffed.

The kid who threw it got suspended for two days and got an extra week added. Husband said that people use those “smelling salts” to get rushes, or highs, for kicks. So I had a kid who was “using” during class, managed to totally disrupt the environment and make two people sick and he had no consequences besides an extra week. Given my son’s situation, my sense of justice is offended. I was told I could file charges, but I declined, not wanting another family to experience the same sort of stress mine is. I’m still mad, though.

Then I called the probation officer to tell her our exact schedule for the next four days. She told me she was busy and would call back in five minutes. She didn’t call back. When I called back after 12:00, when she told me the office would be closed, no one answered. That meant that we would legally be stuck at the house for four days, including Christmas. I ended up typing up a list, getting my boss to witness it, and faxing it to Juvenile Probation, which is conveniently programmed into our fax machine. Interestingly, once the fax arrived, she decided to call. I guess the office didn’t close at 12:00 after all.

One of the kids stole money out of my purse. It was five dollars that I had haphazardly thrown in there after another teacher insisted on paying me for part of the Cokes and popcorn that I bought the kids for today. Yes, I know I should lock up my purse, but there isn’t anyplace. Since I was moving back and forth a lot today, I carried my purse with me all day. Someone was slick. (I say one of the kids stole it, but it could have been one of the staff. I certainly hope not!)

The woman previously known as Boing-Boing took an extended leave of absence (meaning quit) due to stress. I cried. I have ended up really liking and appreciating this woman who I was convinced would be my workplace nemesis. I knew it was coming, but it really hit me today. That’s two people who have quit this year with no replacements to be given. Not that this person could really be replaced, anyway.

I decided to drive ten miles out of town to go see a piece of land and unfinished house that I can buy for 15K. Given that it is over 2 acres in a desireable school district, this is an excellent deal, to say the least. Husband’s best friend agreed to owner finance it for me if I wanted it. He must have no idea how much property values have went up.

About halfway there, I had awful frightening heart-fluttery stuff. I was so scared. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if Husband had not been in the car to drive me back, eyes closed, breathing deeply and slowly to calm down. I wish I had not decided to drive my agoraphobic self into the country on a day when all of the above had occurred, it was raining and I was getting my stupid period. Dumb. I had a very difficult time picking up Older Son from my parents’house after that experience even though Husband was driving. It was a setback. It is the sort of thing that makes me read my post about traveling anywhere I want and laugh at myself in disgust.

I want to move ten miles away. It would be nice not to pay rent or a mortgage. I would like for Younger Son to do 4-H. I know people who live there who will help me fix up the house. I HATE agoraphobia standing in the way of my dreams. That heart stuff is really scary. I don’t know how to get past it. I have been checked out and all of that, but when my heart goes into that irregular beat, it doesn’t matter what the doctors have told me–it FREAKS me out. I can deal with hyperventilating, stomach aches and all of that other anxiety crap. This is what gets me. Bleah.

Support needed.

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