Singing the Sky

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I received what just has to be the most fabulous Christmas card ever today. It says: Have a wonderful day, and thank the peaceful island and world peace! Love, Younger Son.

He made the card in the after-school club that he goes to. I asked my friend who sponsors the club if they had been talking about world peace, and she said, no, they had read the Navitity Story and then made the cards.

When Younger Son and I say prayers at night (while Older Son is in the bottom bunk playing on the computer), we always thank God for as many things as we can think of. He always thanks God for the “beautiful world”, and for people. It is so touching to hear, as I can be pretty misanthropic at times. I am touched by the words of this child.

Husband came over yesterday and spent the entire day sleeping or reading in my bed. He could hardly move. I can see stretch marks on his shoulders where his muscles used to be. I think he has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, since the doctors can’t find anything wrong with him, but there obviously is….he has about one good day out of every three.

I want to take care of him, but he won’t let me. We talked, and he told me that he likes having his own space, and flat-out told me that he simply can’t handle the stress of living with a family. Since we (I) don’t have any idea when this illness will resolve, I give up on the idea of ever fixing up the fixer-upper. I am going to have to try to make the life for myself and my kids that I want, and if someday he can join, then we’ll talk. I’m not interested in divorce, and I have no animosity. It is all just strange.

I want to live in a house with some land so that Younger Son can join 4-H next year. This would have been possible in the fixer-upper, but certainly not in this apartment! Since it doesn’t look like I will be moving out of this town anytime soon, I am going to look for a place that is not too expensive, is not a trailer or too run down and is fenced. The 4-H kids here have a blast showing their chicken, sheep, goats and rabbits. I think Younger Son would really enjoy more of a country life. I mean, if we are going to live in the country, we might as well do some of the more country things. It is not like there is a huge cultural/intellectual scene here, so why settle for living in limbo?

Some of these kids who do 4-H end up making some good prize money. The local businesses around here will pay around a thousand dollars for a winning animal. Selling the animal would be the hard part, though. I am envisioning a cottage market in feta cheese….

The other thing that could eventually happen is that I could finally get into fostering kids. Husband never wanted to do fostering, and after Older Son goes to college, this is something that could work now that Younger Son is older.

I think the Zoloft is starting to work already.

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