Singing the Sky

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Oh how embarrassing.

I had had a screaming match with X on the phone about the lovely picture I had found of him and Bikini Skank. What? Why should I care? I must still love him, right?

I had a wonderful day on Saturday going shopping with my principal. If I wasn’t so full of drama I would post pictures of what I got…but, I can’t. More on that in a minute.

I ruined good feeling from the morning shopping and lunch by getting together later on with X to take younger son (names will no longer be mentioned on any blog of mine) to the local Christmas festival. Yeah, I know, it’s a little bit early for that. I digress.

It was a wonderful, wonderful night. (You have heard this story before, haven’t you?)

Then, after we had headed to my house where I was playing Christmas carols, baking cookies and making hot chocolate. We were chatting amicably in the kitchen about the quality of television when he mentioned, “Yeah, you posted something about that once.” Oops.

He has always sworn that he has no idea what my blog is called, would never violate my privacy by reading it, yadda yadda. He told me that only the day before, actually, while basically calling me a snoop for looking at Bikini Skank’s page and finding the picture.

He told me, “You should tell me to fuck off.” I did, and then he got defensive. He should have left. I should have locked myself in the bathroom, covered my ears and went, “La la la.” He didn’t. I didn’t.

I threw my computer across the room in his general vicinity. This is easily the most expensive temper tantrum I have ever had. I threw a ten dollar picture frame once, about ten years ago. Usually, I just yell and cry. I guess him violating my privacy and then lying about it really got to me.

Does it go without saying that I feel really, really dumb? First, for wanting Happy Christmas Family so much that once again I was blind, and second, for throwing the damn computer. I am now using my son’s ten year old IBM Thinkpad. It doesn’t have enough memory for pictures or additional programs. I’ll see what they say at the shop tomorrow. I have messed up the monitor, but it still works. The problem is the thing rattling around loose inside there that is probably what make the AC adapter not work anymore. I am still trying to think of what I am going to tell the people. It is obvious that I didn’t “drop” it.
The kids got to hear this drama, which was trashy and not at all good. I promised that they would never hear me yell like that again. I intend to keep that promise.

He told me that he found my blog accidentally because he was Googling me. Actually, he Googled my alter-ego, who is my (old) email name. Uh yeah. He told me that he was jealous of me because of my accomplishments, including my college education. Whoa. I worked for that. No one held a gun to his head and told him he couldn’t go to college. He flunked out on his parent’s dime. Not my fault. But now it seems that part of him hates me for just being me. It’s a good thing to know.
Okay. Welcome to my new blog.

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